Vapor's Guide To An Enjoy-A-Bowl Super Bowl
Ahhhh, the Super Bowl is here. It’s time to throw on your oversized, mustard-stained jersey, gather around the television, and begin the indigestion process with hot dogs and wings. To your right, you have that one friend who doesn't really care about the teams at all; he just hopes it’s a high scoring game. To your left, you have your mother who’s anxiously waiting for extreme close-ups of the quarterback.
Whether or not your favorite team has made it this far, I’ve got a way to make this Super Bowl a bit more enjoy-a-bowl. It’s no Janet Jackson halftime show (nip slip? More like slip a rip), but it might be close. What if some of our hottest vapes and accessories were playing in the Super Bowl? What positions do you think they would be? We’ve got it figured out, bud. Read on, and maybe it’ll lift the pressure off the game a little bit, because either way, someone’s getting blitzed.
Let’s kickoff with a position that you most definitely know: the quarterback. Not only are QB’s the most popular guy in every teen movie ever created, but they also always seem to steal the spotlight during the Super Bowl. Is it because of their good looks? Maybe—but it’s also because they’re the field general. The quarterback calls all the plays, handles the snap, and brings a creative spark making him essential to the team. Just like a quarterback, the MONQ makes a name for itself by being essential—essential oil that is. MONQ personal aromatherapy diffusers are made from organic and natural ingredients, and just like a quarterback, it’s always cool, calm, and collected (and may steal your heart). Okay, we’re officially naming this position MON-QB.
The running back is like the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man In The World” guy—he does it all. With the ability to run, catch, block, and even sometimes throw a pass, a running back truly is the most versatile player on the team. Just like a running back, the KandyPens MIVA 2 is a jack-of-all-trades vaporizer that features Smart Memory Technology and is perfect for dry herb and solid concentrate use. Both of these multifunctional juggernauts bring a well-rounded element to your arsenal. Stay lifted, my friends.
You still with me, buds? Now let’s talk about wide receivers. A wide receiver’s main role is to catch passes from the quarterback, and they have a combination of blazing speed and extreme hand-eye coordination. It’s no wonder the is warming up to play this position. With the ability to heat up to 2500 °F and perform with incredible accuracy, this torch is sure to bring fire to the Super Bowl. No matter how the game is going, both the wide receiver and the Higher Standards X Blazer Big Shot have what it takes to light up the night.
Not to be confused with a quarterback, cornerbacks are usually the fastest players on defense. One of the key roles of a cornerback is to try to break up plays. You don’t want just any cornerback shredding apart passes for your team, and you DEFINITELY don’t want just any grinder shredding up your dry herb! You gotta grind to the top first, and Groove yourself. Did you click that hyperlink? That’s what I’m trying to tell you to do. Get the Groove grinder because of it’s unique pattern and double-lead threading will tear apart the toughest of oppositions, and take care of sticky situations.
You know how sometimes a guy who looks waaayyy too small to be a football player walks onto the field? Yeah, that’s the kicker, and he’s super important for those nail-biting close games when the stakes are high. The kicker is responsible for kickoffs and field goals, and NEEDS to have amazing accuracy. Just like a kicker, the Banana Bros. OTTO grinder has incredible precision and intelligence for direction, speed, and pressure. This electrical grinder mills dry herb to perfection, and packs cones with outstanding accuracy. Oh, and both kickers and the OTTO get the job done in only a few seconds before going back to the sidelines to recharge.
Before we finish, I just want to let you know something: I got your back, bud. Alright alright, don’t get all emotional on me that’s simply a segway to my next point. You know who’s got your team's back? The safety. The safety is the last line of defense if any offensive players get past your defensive linemen. Many times it comes down to one good hit to save the game. Just like the safety, the Higher Standards Supreme Clean Kit is strong, fast, and will clean up any leftover problems that seem to slip through the cracks. The Supreme Clean Kit comes with everything you need to perfect your cleaning ritual, including the Higher Standards ISO Pure,Salt Rox, and a Resin Rag.